...you've got to change your evil ways baby

Isn’t it weird how we change? When I was younger I was a hot mess. SO disorganized. Late all the time. Dazed and confused, and out in space. I’m definitely still spacey but now I am never late to anything EVER, organized as fuck, and on top of my shit. Mostly, it’s just calming to me to not always be worried or anxious that I’ve forgotten something, need to be somewhere, or am running late for something. How stressful is that? If you told 7th grade Ellie that she would grow up to be excited about a new planner and spend hours each week organizing everything from her life and appointments to re-categorizing her iTunes library for fun, 7th grade Ellie would have laughed in your face and told you to stop smoking crack. Eventually being a total mess and disorganized caught up with me sometime around my early 20s when I just couldn’t hold it together anymore. Forgetting appointments, misplacing my keys, glasses, and life constantly was incredibly stressful and I was just over it. So I changed. I just up and changed. I decided I wanted to be an organized human being so I became one. At that time I also struggled to wake up in the morning, ate shit food, drank too much and smoked. Yes, I smoked! My God, for like 10 years too. I still can’t believe I’m that same person. I used to roll out of bed 15 minutes before I needed to be at ballet, locate tights and a leotard, make coffee, realize I didn’t have a clean thermos and pour it into whatever I could find–empty snapple bottles–whatever had a lid, crack open my pack of cigarettes, barely make it on time to our 11:30 (11:30!!!!) technique class, and survive the rest of the day on the diet coke from the vending machine, scrounged granola bars from people and just inhaled the rest of my cigarettes. After class and a full day of rehearsals I’d typically head home, order a pizza then commence drinking all night…wake up just in the nick of time for ballet and repeat she cycle over again. I’d miss exams, forget about group projects, and I don’t think I went to the gym once the entire time I was in college. Just thinking back to that lifestyle makes me cringe. I was so tired, sick, and stressed out all the time. Nowadays I wake up between 6-7 almost always naturally on my own, work out every morning and teach about 8 or so yoga (and one rowing!) classes a week, cook and eat mostly organic food, rarely drink, and can’t even look at a cigarette anymore. (That sounds a lot more obnoxious than I meant it to…hehe). I suppose this is also just called “growing up”, but I remember the exact moment I decided to change. A friend of mine seemed to have it all together and was so organized and pulled out a planner to schedule a pilates session with me and it was like light bulb city. BOOM. I needed a planner. I needed to pull my shit together. And I did. And I haven’t looked back. I am so happy these days, waking up early nerding out color coding my planner, and being on time for everything. Is there some area, big or small, in your life that drives you nuts and you just want to change? DO IT. Just do it. Just figure out a plan, and follow through. Trust me…if I can, you can too! I used to struggle to wake up by 4pm on the weekends…now I can’t even sleep until 8am if I tried. Change is possible. And change can be amazing.