Ravaging Your Metabolism, aka "Cleansing".

As a pseudo-follow up to my last blog entry about what I eat, I just have to get this out of my system, so here goes:

I’ve been looking into some yoga retreats lately and I stumbled across one that looked awesome, except for the fact that while you’re on this beautiful island practicing yoga with amazing people, it’s also a little bit like a starvation camp. Fresh juice for breakfast and lunch! A vegetarian dinner! Example: Tofu “steak” (uhhh sorry, that’s not steak in my book) over a bed of greens. Soooo let me get this straight. You’re going to give me fucking juice, a lump of tofu and a pile of spinach? How about fuck you. Let me get right to the point here. This whole trend of “detoxing” and “cleansing” needs to end now. What exactly are you cleansing? Where did this idea that your body is unclean and full of toxins come from? Your body is an amazing cleansing MACHINE. What do you think your liver and your kidneys are for? Your circulatory system? Your digestive system? Your respiration? Literally every system in your body? These types of cleanses are unfortunately so pervasive nowadays in our society. You don’t need to reset, refresh, restart, or rest your “system”. You do realize that this is stupid shit people tell you to sell you a bunch of 200 dollar juice, chalky “health” substances, or some overpriced tiny plastic boxes to measure your food. Eat smart, be active, drink water. JUICE IS NOT FOOD. Starving yourself under the guise of a “cleanse” is only going to drain you, weaken your immune system, and trick your body into holding onto every calorie possible when you are done “detoxing”. The number on the scale will be lower and you will feel skinnier because you will be dehydrated and your muscles will have started to catabolize. Yes, just like it sounds. Your body literally begins to eat it’s own muscle for sustenance. But you lost 6 pounds, right? Once you resume eating solid food again or anything larger than an olive, you put the weight back on and you’re all… “Well, shit! Guess I have to cleanse again!” Aaaaand the cycle continues. And the fuckfaces who sold you the 9 million dollar juice boxes get richer, you get weaker, heavier, and more unhappy. So continue on the hamster wheel or jump off and trust your body to do it’s job. Rant over.

PS-Follow me on Facebook www.facebook.com/elliebernsteinyogaandpilates and one of these days I’ll get my shit together and organize a BOMB ASS yoga retreat where you won’t be hangry the whole time. I’ll make it my business to put together a retreat that is healthy, fueling, and delicious!