This is a story about control
Control of what I say
Control of what I do
And this time I’m gonna do it my way….
God, who doesn’t love Janet? This week in my flows we are working with the concept of CONTROL. The funny thing about control is that we think we have it. We love to think we are in control, yet it’s a complete illusion. Whether you believe in a divine spirit or not, there’s no way to be completely in control of everything. Accidents happen. People get sick. We meet new people everyday. We lose touch. People come and people go and we have very little control over this simple fact of life. Whether we like to admit it or not, many of us are “control freaks”, doing everything in our power to have some sort of semblance of control, resisting the natural shift of everything. When things start to feel like they are spiraling out of our grasp, what do we do? We grip harder, which is usually a futile practice. It’s like those proverbial waves that swell up into our lives. We have no control over this. So why do we constantly stand in their way and allow them to knock us down time and time again? Speaking of the beach, I love the beach. I love the beach so much, yet I live thousands of miles (maybe hundreds…I’m not so great with math…) away from the ocean. I grew up on the east coast and the salty air and sandy beaches were a part of my existence. My body and soul crave the sea. When I was back east last summer I remember being on the beach and being really bummed out about leaving. I grabbed a handful of sand and squeezed it so hard and in that moment, as all the sand poured out of my palm I realized when you love something so much, the tighter you hold onto it, the faster it escapes your grasp. If you gently hold it, it stays for much longer. Now of course, I can’t carry the beach back to Indiana with me, but it made me stop and think. These things in life that we want so badly to hold onto, when we resist the natural ebb and flow of their existence, not only do we lose them more quickly, but we are much more deeply affected by the inevitable change that occurs. To begin to understand that we are not in control of our lives is to begin to live in the present moment.
When we finally decide to let go of this illusion of control and surrender to the natural unfolding of our lives, things tend to settle more quickly and we return to our homeostasis, or our happy place. As you allow the waves of life to approach, it’s easier to ride them, and ultimately pass through them with more ease.
What is it that you are trying so hard to hold onto? What is trying to work it’s way out of your life? Can you take a moment to first recognize this thing that you’re gripping, and then be with it for another moment. Pause. Take it in. Recognize that it has no power over you, nor you it, and just like that…begin to let it go.